Friends first then dating

07-Apr-2020 19:55

I've come to the conclusion that women are just not wired that way, as well as, if they find a man attractive, they want him right now and will not wait for one minute or one day or one week.They want what they want and not getting what they want is total rejection and a good reason for the man to die.Even those women where the dynamic was platonic on both sides in the beginning. I was "friends" with my current boyfriend for a few months before we started "dating" and doing all the kissie/huggie type of stuff.But, there was A LOT of flirting, so the intent seemed clear from the beginning. Otherwise how do you explain the kids who grow up together in grade school and then suddenly become bf/gf?Granted, people knowing each other as friends is very different from people knowing each other as lovers, but I mean wouldn't it at least beat out the initial infatuation stage which makes people think they are in love when in fact it's just a phase before they see someone's true colors.Not a universal truth, but, as a 50 year old man who has had many female friends, I can tell with absolute certainty that no romance has ever grown out of friendship in carhill's lifetime.Granted such puppy love doesn't generally last very long. It's happened for me before; although USUALLY even if it was only friendship at the beginning, we both kinda already felt some sort of connection, but simply didn't pursue it due to various reasons (studies/work, one or both in a relationship at the moment, etc).

It just honestly takes time for me to warm up to people and that includes potential dates.

Granted, people knowing each other as friends is very different from people knowing each other as lovers, but I mean wouldn't it at least beat out the initial infatuation stage which makes people think they are in love when in fact it's just a phase before they see someone's true colors. Its a springboard for the relaionship - because if it works out and the relationship matures - you are going to fall deeply in love with this man and he will fall deeply in love with you.

Without that springboard, it becomes a hard sell later if one person thinks of you as "friends" while another one thinks more. You are concerned about falling for someone without seeing who they are.

It's happened for me before; although USUALLY even if it was only friendship at the beginning, we both kinda already felt some sort of connection, but simply didn't pursue it due to various reasons (studies/work, one or both in a relationship at the moment, etc).

This is basically what it was like for me and my current SO.

It just honestly takes time for me to warm up to people and that includes potential dates.Granted, people knowing each other as friends is very different from people knowing each other as lovers, but I mean wouldn't it at least beat out the initial infatuation stage which makes people think they are in love when in fact it's just a phase before they see someone's true colors. Its a springboard for the relaionship - because if it works out and the relationship matures - you are going to fall deeply in love with this man and he will fall deeply in love with you.Without that springboard, it becomes a hard sell later if one person thinks of you as "friends" while another one thinks more. You are concerned about falling for someone without seeing who they are.It's happened for me before; although USUALLY even if it was only friendship at the beginning, we both kinda already felt some sort of connection, but simply didn't pursue it due to various reasons (studies/work, one or both in a relationship at the moment, etc).This is basically what it was like for me and my current SO.IMO, for both genders, if there isn't attraction at the beginning, even if dating doesn't start right away, there never will be. The efficiency is finding out as soon as possible so as not to waste time on a dead hole (no pun intended).