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You can score a few extra points as a team player if you bring along some one-dollar and five-dollar bills to help the other attendees make change. While ordinary social handshakes are usually fine (some old school men observe the etiquette rule that a gentleman never offers his hand to a lady but rather waits for her to offer hers, if she chooses to) more intimate touching such as hugging and so forth is reserved for people who already know each other well.(Because a lot of the people attending already know each other well, you may see a lot of hugging.) A good general rule is to not touch another person's body, clothing, or BDSM equipment without first obtaining their specific permission and don't be too aggressive about asking for that permission. Congratulations for contacting what many of us call the BDSM community (or, more simply, the scene).The term is pronounced just like its letters B D S M and represents a compression of the phrases bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. Please note that munches tend to be social events, not educational events.If you'd like to learn more about BDSM, please see the end of this document.Most munches are held in restaurants, often in a special room or area of the restaurant. By the way, BDSM is a general, overall term for what we do. In broad outline, a BDSM munch is an informal gathering of people with an interest in BDSM so that they can eat and socialize.

(And until you've both agreed that he's your master, he isn't.) 6. BDSM people often use scene-related jargon to let others know what activities they enjoy.

(If the person is wearing a collar, there's a good chance that they are in an ongoing dominant/submissive relationship and that the person they are collared to is also at the event, so it's wise to get explicit and specific permission from that person beforehand as well.) Also, if another person touches you in a dominant manner without your permission, it is entirely appropriate to let them clearly know that you didn't appreciate that, and also to notify the munch hosts about this.

This is true even if this is your first event and the other person seems to be well-known and prominent.

If you're not sure yet, it's fine to reply that you're still exploring that question. If someone asks you a direct question that you don't feel comfortable answering, a simple reply of I'd rather not say just now is entirely appropriate.

(They shouldn't ask again, at least at that event.) It's generally fine to have some beer or wine with your food if you wish, but make sure you don't drink alcohol to the point where your behavior becomes a problem. Be exceptionally courteous and friendly to the staff.

(And until you've both agreed that he's your master, he isn't.) 6. BDSM people often use scene-related jargon to let others know what activities they enjoy.

(If the person is wearing a collar, there's a good chance that they are in an ongoing dominant/submissive relationship and that the person they are collared to is also at the event, so it's wise to get explicit and specific permission from that person beforehand as well.) Also, if another person touches you in a dominant manner without your permission, it is entirely appropriate to let them clearly know that you didn't appreciate that, and also to notify the munch hosts about this.

This is true even if this is your first event and the other person seems to be well-known and prominent.

If you're not sure yet, it's fine to reply that you're still exploring that question. If someone asks you a direct question that you don't feel comfortable answering, a simple reply of I'd rather not say just now is entirely appropriate.

(They shouldn't ask again, at least at that event.) It's generally fine to have some beer or wine with your food if you wish, but make sure you don't drink alcohol to the point where your behavior becomes a problem. Be exceptionally courteous and friendly to the staff.

People who cross-dress and transgendered people also sometimes attend. Most munches do not have a specific dress code so, in general, reasonably presentable clothing appropriate to the season will be fine. Dressing up in high fetish clothing is not necessary and may be inappropriate for the event unless you have been told otherwise beforehand.