Online sex chat in hini

22-Dec-2019 13:46

Now more and more often , I just don’t remember doing these things I did. To be able to have an affair, unless you’re a complete bastard, you have to tell yourself that what happens over there (in affair land) has no impact on my life over here (with my partner and kids).In this way, it almost feels like you’re another person doing this things which normally you would condemn.(I know real life is more complex and your partner is not a kid but we are dealing with early primitive feelings and the patterns are set young).So to avoid having to face our shameful behaviour, we simply block out all those terrible details of how much we paid for that candlelight dinner, what we ate and what we talked about.

Online sex chat in hini-88

This is most toxic of all feelings and we will do anything to avoid it – because shame is the opposite of love.

(Sometimes people tell me of almost out of body experiences as they type how much they ‘love’ their affair partner and ‘I’ve never felt this way before’ because they knew at the time that they didn’t mean them but it was what was expected in an affair and went along – like someone in a play performing their role.) You can further dissociate and minimise your behaviour by downplaying details.

You certainly don’t want to remember all the lies that you’ve had to tell or how much you’ve betrayed your partner.

Our marriage can’t have been so bad that you needed to escape and if it is why are we still together? Once bitten, twice shy In other words, you can remember (at least at the beginning) but every detail gets such an explosion of anger, bitterness and betrayal, so you don’t want to go there again.

So you tell yourself ‘more details will set us back’ and deliberately shut up – to ‘protect’ yourself and you tell yourself your marriage too.

This is most toxic of all feelings and we will do anything to avoid it – because shame is the opposite of love.

(Sometimes people tell me of almost out of body experiences as they type how much they ‘love’ their affair partner and ‘I’ve never felt this way before’ because they knew at the time that they didn’t mean them but it was what was expected in an affair and went along – like someone in a play performing their role.) You can further dissociate and minimise your behaviour by downplaying details.

You certainly don’t want to remember all the lies that you’ve had to tell or how much you’ve betrayed your partner.

Our marriage can’t have been so bad that you needed to escape and if it is why are we still together? Once bitten, twice shy In other words, you can remember (at least at the beginning) but every detail gets such an explosion of anger, bitterness and betrayal, so you don’t want to go there again.

So you tell yourself ‘more details will set us back’ and deliberately shut up – to ‘protect’ yourself and you tell yourself your marriage too.

Sometimes, out of desperation, you will agree to a detail suggested by their partner – ‘you must have fancied her for months before hand’ – because it sounds likely or may have happened and mostly to get your partner off your back.