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22-Dec-2019 20:20

We've been together 26 years and I welcome (and even need) to have the chance to connect with her on new levels.

I think it would be a good idea for us to write out each others answers (or at least a summary for some of them) and keep each others copy.

It would depend on how the questions were asked and how our discussion of them went--if they ask in a genuinely interested, open-to-listening way, I'd feel closer, but I'd feel closer if they asked any questions in that way.

At long last the secret of ratcheting up intimacy is revealed! Perhaps my brain is starved of oxygen or else the feeling of hypoxia is a testament to the efficiency of this method. You don't really believe your interlocutor is going to stop after 36, do you? I really don't feel that this list of questions would necessarily make me feel good about the other person or feel closer to them.

But sometimes in real life we want to slow the process down.

Good luck Helen, though I understand your position is based upon your experience - as all of us gather perceived truths from how our world reacts to us - saying that "we both know how completely irritated any man would be if asked these questions", is an inaccurate stereotype.It's easy to get busy in life and neglect the most important relationship you have.If you really have an interest in sharing these questions with your husband (which is why I assume you read the article), maybe try a non-typical approach to the typical male attitude. Many males respond good to a "reward for participation" deal, and may find that opening up, even a little, is the real reward. One or two questions per get together should work, more if I'm really interested in developing an intimate relationship with the man. Having that insight would allow trust to be initiated and built upon and lead to quicker and more self exposure. I think that questions like these can make our time together much more interesting and memorable, and people don't always have great conversational skills these days to rely on. The questions will be useful as I restart my social life after a 25 year hiatus. How a person answers these questions would provide a shortcut to knowing a bit about their personal morals and motives which would either, implicitly, quickly put up walls or take them down.

Good luck Helen, though I understand your position is based upon your experience - as all of us gather perceived truths from how our world reacts to us - saying that "we both know how completely irritated any man would be if asked these questions", is an inaccurate stereotype.It's easy to get busy in life and neglect the most important relationship you have.If you really have an interest in sharing these questions with your husband (which is why I assume you read the article), maybe try a non-typical approach to the typical male attitude. Many males respond good to a "reward for participation" deal, and may find that opening up, even a little, is the real reward. One or two questions per get together should work, more if I'm really interested in developing an intimate relationship with the man. Having that insight would allow trust to be initiated and built upon and lead to quicker and more self exposure. I think that questions like these can make our time together much more interesting and memorable, and people don't always have great conversational skills these days to rely on. The questions will be useful as I restart my social life after a 25 year hiatus. How a person answers these questions would provide a shortcut to knowing a bit about their personal morals and motives which would either, implicitly, quickly put up walls or take them down. Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's? How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? Complete this sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."27. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.